There are no mistakes….
June 13th, 2006 by timelady
…The events we bring upon ourselves, no matter how unpleasant, are necessary in order to learn what we need to learn; whatever steps we take, they’re necessary to reach the places we’ve chosen to go.
So, its been a while, hasnt it?Lets get the updates over with in a list form,I will elaborate on each of them bit by bit.
- Had mini breakdown, just started falling to pieces. Found myself in January, medicated ot hell on anti depressants, and not knowing much of anything. Clawing myself out of that pit began when I stopped that cold turkey. Started to clear my mind. Last few months a blur.
- Left ITShare. Wasnt ableto work for them, was sucked dry. 8 years of volunteer work, I felt I had probably done enough. BUt because I wasnt focussed last few months, it wasnt the easiest or cleanest thing. Found out who cared and who didnt. Some were a shock, some werent.
- Got notice house we were renting was being sold. Had to find hose by beginning of March. had to begfor fortnight extension, but found an amazing house with gorgeous landlords.
- Day of moving, biggest impact event, literally. Was waiting, stationary, to turn across traffic to drop some few things at new house before whole shebang started, when WHAM. Station wagon didnt see me, hit me at 60kms/h. Forced me into oncoming car, second impact at 60 kms/hr. Policeman was amazed I was able to move. Could easily have died. All three cars complete write offs. Neck damage, sprained wrist. In coming weeks, they start to heal, real damage is discovers to muscles around lower spine. Possibly disc and maybe some hip damage. Thats a whole other post, sometime. But oh, the friends who helped us move, and in the following week, cleaning up. We are truly blessed with them. And hugs to my beloved Dad, who is my anchor, and my MIL, she is a saint and I adore her:)
- Cant ride my bike anymore. Feeling incredibly depressed, like a huge burden on everyone, cant drive, on painkillers. My family is amazing, but I feel worse and worse.
- Three weeks later, our beloved dog, Charlie, starts getting sicker and sicker. He dies of haemophilia complications on our wedding anniversary, April 1st.
- Eldest girl, R, gets job, finally. Things start getting better:)
- New car, big blue 4wd that himself has always longed for, see, a silver lining! Off ebay, a bargain! Terrified of driving though, still have bad dreams and dont want to get behind wheel…
- Wonderful new GP, manages pain relief and understands my pain. Lawyer also does, health care costs now covered via insurance.Conflicted, dont wish to be burden, but told to not be silly, lawyer points out doctor confirms real damage, its necessary. Allowed to walk around block, but feel flabby (weight hard to control like this, up to 72 kilos!!!!), and unfit. No bike:((((
- New dog. Missed Charlie, still mourning for him. You can never replace a beloved. But we needed a dog, the kids did to. Prancer has entered ourlives, and is a real blessing. More to follow!
- Physical injury specialist has referred me to new physio, specialist in this area, who will really help. Tens pain unit to come, more(stronger) pain relief, which I am not happiest about, but honestly turn to in tears at times. best news, if in three months I am half as much improved as we hope, I can ride for ten mins a day! I miss riding more than I can express.
- Job offer! Totally unexpected - seriously, a job But is only 1-2 days a week for company that develops FOSS solutions for the hardware they configure, PABX stuff. I workon testing and gtting cards ready to be shipped, also some db and c->swig->python-> curses development for testing, and the usual documentation fun:) Resisted, resisted, but they talked me into it. Bless them the few days are my sanity, like a lifeline. See Voicetronix, in sidebar.
- G, youngest daughter (child no 4) starts school next term. She turns 5 end of July C, the small boy, turns 3 end of June. R has turned 20 beginning of June. A is 13 1/2, C is 11, amazing, all growing amazingly - time, time so fleeting!
See, the odd drama:) But its a mixed bag, isnt it? Blessings and loss and pain and gain in large slabs. I still swear I am lucky.
