it’s about time

Prejudice, not being founded on reason…

December 7th, 2007 by timelady

…cannot be removed by argument.

I belonged to a group encouraging women in a particular area of technology. (No, I am NOT going to name them, as it is very recent past, and the post is a general message now to groups of all genders, not a gripe at a particular group of people.)

Thiis group, for whatever reason, decided that it felt the need, collectively, to exclude men, as a general principle, from meetings and other events. I felt very strongly this was a dangerous path to walk down, and wrote them an email, explaining why - and then I left the group. No, I don’t think I will be missed.

I decided to post the email I sent to explain how I feel about this situation. Discrimination, no mater what positive spin we put on it, is discrimination. If, to redress appalling levels of gender imbalance in the IT industry, (and many others), we feel we need to lessen or discriminate against one group to promote another, we are just moving the problem around. The issue is to END discrimination, not rebadge it.

Basing any decision on gender, colour, nationality, religion, or sexuality is discrimination. You can say it is positive, but thats just a label hung on it to pretty up the reality. Lessening anyone is not okay.

I am all for women’s groups, to promote, support, and encourage. But when we move the cost around, so we, as women, aren’t paying anymore, we make men pay, then we are just doing the same thing we cry out against. I would rather work as people, to end discrimination, full stop.

I must state, however, that not admitting idiots, morons, and anyone who is sexist, racist, homophobic, or xenophobic, or otherwise intolerant, is always fine with me:)  Why? CAUSE YOU BORE ME! Yep, I will discriminate based on anyone being a total twat. Get over it:)

So, for your edification, viewing pleasure, and an attempt to see if anyone still bothers with hate mail, the email:

I have thought a lot before responding to this. But, as a woman who has
children of both genders, I felt it important. I target noone in
particular, but am wanting the group to examine something that I find so
very disturbing. I will be leaving the group post this, as I believe I
do not belong for reasons expounded below, but wanted to state why as
clearly as possible. Please understand, it is done without rancour, or a
wish to accuse or insult. I ask only that you examine what I have said
with an open mind. You are all free to reject it, but vitriol is
unseemly for intelligent beings.

You know, I am all for a group encouraging and supporting women. I just
never get a group that is bigoted in any way. And yes, I used the word
very deliberately. I am pro woman, not anti men.

When I look at my children, I do not wish them to encounter a world
where their gender means they are discriminated against. This hope does
not apply only to my daughters, excluding my son.

I am heavily in favour of women’s groups and organisations that promote,
support, educate, and facilitate women. I can do that regardless of my
gender. If I was a man who wanted to be supportive, why would turning me
away be of value?

And don’t dally around the edges by saying that men are sometimes
acceptable at events as long as they are friends or boyfriends, and they
will be occasionally tolerated. Turn this around, people. Would this be
acceptable if a male group behaved this way towards women?

Allowing men to participate does not mean women have to be lessened. Are
we so afraid that we are weak, and would not be able to stop men taking
over? That we could not be loud and have our voices heard? People can be
asked to leave, of either gender, if their aims are not shared (yes, I
have said I am, so, fret not - what an example I set:) ).

Pro women does not have to mean anti men. To me, this is walking over a
fine line. I accept for many, probably nearly all, it isn’t. Just think
about it, please. There is a rather sweet young man who is, (along with
his sisters), being raised to respect the worth of people, not genders,
sexuality, or race. I think they all deserve equally as much respect and
value.

Thank you for listening. I have enjoyed my time. I wish you all every
success.

Blogged with Flock

   Post in Family Friends Pets Kids, Geek Tech FLOSS GNU/Linux OpenSolaris, Meanderings, Politics Rights